Last year this time was a great tribulation for me. Indeed, my Lord will not tempt me above i am abIe ...
I thank God that mama is now saved in His hand now.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Remission .... but...
Mama completed her 4 cycle of chemo (6 cycles is the full course but stopped due to adverse side effects) and full dose of 35 fractions of RT in April 06. She was recovering from her side effects in May and started with her shopping trip with papa.
She had some pain in her right knee and later felt very ill in early August. She was admitted to SGH on 10 August 06. Dr P**n told us that we should have brought her to the hospital earlier. This was not the only time we have delayed. Mama was always very gurung, never want to go to the hospital or call her doctor to checkup.
She had some pain in her right knee and later felt very ill in early August. She was admitted to SGH on 10 August 06. Dr P**n told us that we should have brought her to the hospital earlier. This was not the only time we have delayed. Mama was always very gurung, never want to go to the hospital or call her doctor to checkup.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Today is National Day.
On 2005 National Day, mama was admitted to SGH for spinal stenosis. I remembered I wheeled her to the patient's TV room to watch the National Day Parade telecast. I was very glad that she was alright after the operaion.
She complained about pain in her legs after she was discharged. Our 'nightmare' had started.
She nose started to bleed. It began with only some foul smell in the nose and a little blood tinted mucous and phelm in the morning. She consulted the doctors in Yishun Polyclinic. They told her that there wasn't any thing serious, it might just be an infection. She came home with some anti-biotics.
During that time papa was having some throat and acid reflux problem, so both he and mama when to consult a ENT specialist, Dr Tan at SGH. Papa for his throat problem, mama for her nose problem.
I remember calling mama to asked to ask for the doc's diagnoses on that consultation afternoon. She was still in the doc's office when I called. She said with some nervousness,'there is something wrong and the doc is checking now.' I was scared. I waited for them to return home, it was a l o o o o n g wait that evening.
She brought home 2 scope photos of the 2 growths in her nose cavity. The doc suspected that it was cancer. She told us the doc proposed an operation to remove the growths. The doc would like the children to be present at the next consultation.
the nose bleed had gotten worst when she was due for operation. Dr Tan called me at my handphone when he finished the operation. He told me that the growth indeed looked cancerous. I was deveatasted. I cried to God to save mama.
The biospy confirmed that it was cancer but it took more than a month to find out the kind of cancer. It was alveolar rhabdomyosarcomas; is a type of soft tissue sacroma that affect older children and teens. It was rare.
On 2005 National Day, mama was admitted to SGH for spinal stenosis. I remembered I wheeled her to the patient's TV room to watch the National Day Parade telecast. I was very glad that she was alright after the operaion.
She complained about pain in her legs after she was discharged. Our 'nightmare' had started.
She nose started to bleed. It began with only some foul smell in the nose and a little blood tinted mucous and phelm in the morning. She consulted the doctors in Yishun Polyclinic. They told her that there wasn't any thing serious, it might just be an infection. She came home with some anti-biotics.
During that time papa was having some throat and acid reflux problem, so both he and mama when to consult a ENT specialist, Dr Tan at SGH. Papa for his throat problem, mama for her nose problem.
I remember calling mama to asked to ask for the doc's diagnoses on that consultation afternoon. She was still in the doc's office when I called. She said with some nervousness,'there is something wrong and the doc is checking now.' I was scared. I waited for them to return home, it was a l o o o o n g wait that evening.
She brought home 2 scope photos of the 2 growths in her nose cavity. The doc suspected that it was cancer. She told us the doc proposed an operation to remove the growths. The doc would like the children to be present at the next consultation.
the nose bleed had gotten worst when she was due for operation. Dr Tan called me at my handphone when he finished the operation. He told me that the growth indeed looked cancerous. I was deveatasted. I cried to God to save mama.
The biospy confirmed that it was cancer but it took more than a month to find out the kind of cancer. It was alveolar rhabdomyosarcomas; is a type of soft tissue sacroma that affect older children and teens. It was rare.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
I can't figure it out
Papa's mood was good after we came back from Tokyo.
But today he threw tantrum again. Strange. He get angry for no reason. Today is Father's day, he cooked dinner, ate and when out at 6 pm. He did not tell anyone where he was going. He knew that Wai and family was coming for dinner, he knew that we bought a cake but he choose to ignore and avoid. I cannot figure out, really can't.
Dear God, help me to understand him. Lord, only you can change him, only you know his thought. Lord, I pray for his soul. Please Holy Spirit break his ego, soften his heart, made him come to you for forgiveness. I pray in Jesus precious name.
But today he threw tantrum again. Strange. He get angry for no reason. Today is Father's day, he cooked dinner, ate and when out at 6 pm. He did not tell anyone where he was going. He knew that Wai and family was coming for dinner, he knew that we bought a cake but he choose to ignore and avoid. I cannot figure out, really can't.
Dear God, help me to understand him. Lord, only you can change him, only you know his thought. Lord, I pray for his soul. Please Holy Spirit break his ego, soften his heart, made him come to you for forgiveness. I pray in Jesus precious name.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Update
We are back from Tokyo. Was it fun?
I think it was more like to try to get escape the grief. But the hint of saddness followed us.
Sometimes, I have this ungratefulness thought "how could God be so cruel to take away my mom at this time?"
No, God is merciful and all powerful and with all wisdom. He cannot and will not do anything which is not the best. He would have healed Mama if it is the best for us.
PaPa is eating well and has put on some weight. But I fear his heart problem. His feet are swollen after our trip from Japan. He did a blood test this morning at Heart Center. Will be seeing the cardio 2 weeks later.
I pleage for the Lord to be patient and mercify to him. Let the Holy Spirit works in his heart that he may get saved before the rapture.
I think it was more like to try to get escape the grief. But the hint of saddness followed us.
Sometimes, I have this ungratefulness thought "how could God be so cruel to take away my mom at this time?"
No, God is merciful and all powerful and with all wisdom. He cannot and will not do anything which is not the best. He would have healed Mama if it is the best for us.
PaPa is eating well and has put on some weight. But I fear his heart problem. His feet are swollen after our trip from Japan. He did a blood test this morning at Heart Center. Will be seeing the cardio 2 weeks later.
I pleage for the Lord to be patient and mercify to him. Let the Holy Spirit works in his heart that he may get saved before the rapture.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day
A tribute to my beloved Mama
Mama was the pillar of the family. We looked to her for support. She is always there for us.
Mama never fear hardwork. She rised early while we are yet sleeping, still working when we called it a day.
Mama is resourceful. She has lots of contacts, friends and networking. There is nothing that she was not able to find out.
Mama take pride in her home and family.
She gave her all to us.
She is the best Mama I can ever have.
I thank God for Mama.
Mama was the pillar of the family. We looked to her for support. She is always there for us.
Mama never fear hardwork. She rised early while we are yet sleeping, still working when we called it a day.
Mama is resourceful. She has lots of contacts, friends and networking. There is nothing that she was not able to find out.
Mama take pride in her home and family.
She gave her all to us.
She is the best Mama I can ever have.
I thank God for Mama.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Uncle Chong has a new stall in farrer park selling curry puff. Today is the 2nd opening day. He made too little to sell and not very organised too. Much room for improvement. Wai got him some fish ball and wanton from the wholesales. He will be selling 3 fishballs at 80 cents.
Papa is not looking forward to anything. He is very lost even in the most familiar place.
At times, I still can't accept that mama has left us. No preparation is enough not to miss her. I do not like Sunday or public holidays because that is the time I miss her most.
I pray for the Lord to be merciful and longsuffering with my family. Please be patient with them and give them more time to come to repentence. Let me be a good withness to my family.
PMak told us about Chew Mee family. They have all come to know Christ as their personal Saviour. Praise the Lord. How wonderful! I too want to claim this promise, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you and your house will be saved". Bro Johnny said once,"It is God's will that your parents will be saved". Dear Heavenly Father, please let the Holy Spirit work in their hearts. Stir them. Help them to understand the the plan of salvation. Make them realised that it is sin that block them from you.
Papa is not looking forward to anything. He is very lost even in the most familiar place.
At times, I still can't accept that mama has left us. No preparation is enough not to miss her. I do not like Sunday or public holidays because that is the time I miss her most.
I pray for the Lord to be merciful and longsuffering with my family. Please be patient with them and give them more time to come to repentence. Let me be a good withness to my family.
PMak told us about Chew Mee family. They have all come to know Christ as their personal Saviour. Praise the Lord. How wonderful! I too want to claim this promise, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you and your house will be saved". Bro Johnny said once,"It is God's will that your parents will be saved". Dear Heavenly Father, please let the Holy Spirit work in their hearts. Stir them. Help them to understand the the plan of salvation. Make them realised that it is sin that block them from you.
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