Today is 8th month 14th day of the lunar calendar.
Assisi Hospice had a little mid-Autum festival party this time last year. for their patients. The little garden was decorated with lanterns and tea lights. Mama was quite well that day. Se sat through the whole celebration.
She had a good time singing with the nurses. Mama loves songs. I believe Mama is singing with the angels in Heaven now.
Mama, I miss you!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Holding Together
This evening, our family went to Bottle Tree Park for dinner. We met at Katib MRT station and took a 10 mins walk to the Park.
I gave a treat because I had my bonus. I just want to share my blessing and also wanted to take the opportunity for a family togethering. There is nothing much my family could do together except maybe to eat. The dinner was so so only but the fellowship we had was important.
Previously, mama was the center of gravity. She held everything together and all revolved around her. Since mama is gone, I think I will have to step in to take the position. I may not be the borned 'gravitation force' but I will try as much as possible to hold them together.
I gave a treat because I had my bonus. I just want to share my blessing and also wanted to take the opportunity for a family togethering. There is nothing much my family could do together except maybe to eat. The dinner was so so only but the fellowship we had was important.
Previously, mama was the center of gravity. She held everything together and all revolved around her. Since mama is gone, I think I will have to step in to take the position. I may not be the borned 'gravitation force' but I will try as much as possible to hold them together.
Monday, September 10, 2007
For what is your life?
I am not able to fell asleep again tonight. Thinking of mama and missing her greatly.
The emotion is choking me.
The Lord should know how difficult it will be for us when He took her home. But He choose to do it. What has He got in mind? Why is this thee best plan for me? What kind of good will this do of me / us?
The truth will reveal when we meet Him. Setting my eyes upon eternity.
James 4:14 For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
The emotion is choking me.
The Lord should know how difficult it will be for us when He took her home. But He choose to do it. What has He got in mind? Why is this thee best plan for me? What kind of good will this do of me / us?
The truth will reveal when we meet Him. Setting my eyes upon eternity.
James 4:14 For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Friday, September 7, 2007
On 16 Aug 06, Dr P told us that she only has 10 % chance of recovery during family conference. I cried. Mama was experiencing great pain the night before. Aunt Ling and uncle chong were at the ward with her over night.
Mama had oral chemo from 15 Aug 06 to 22 Aug 06. Dr P decided to give the last shot and give her a strong drug through IV when the oral chemo did not work.
On 21 Aug, Dr P witnessed to Papa at his ward (papa was warded for heart / hypertension on 18 Aug) and mama at hers. He gave her a Billy Graham book. I saw mama signature on the sinner prayer. The next day, Dr Poon told Wai that mama might only have 1week left.
The IV chemo started on 23nd Aug. On 25 Aug, mama had headache and she told me that she woke up with a strange feeling. She said she scolded the nurse for the 'mess' they had created.
Dr P suspected that she had brain bleeding. I went to mama, pull the curtain and cried. I told her to call upon Jesus. First she said, ' for you, i'll do it" But I told her no, not for me. She agreed and said let's pray. She turned to papa and said,"I am going to become a christian." Papa said "ok, as you wish". We prayed the sinner prayer.
I asked mama if her still want to buddhist bead on her. She took it off.
Mama had oral chemo from 15 Aug 06 to 22 Aug 06. Dr P decided to give the last shot and give her a strong drug through IV when the oral chemo did not work.
On 21 Aug, Dr P witnessed to Papa at his ward (papa was warded for heart / hypertension on 18 Aug) and mama at hers. He gave her a Billy Graham book. I saw mama signature on the sinner prayer. The next day, Dr Poon told Wai that mama might only have 1week left.
The IV chemo started on 23nd Aug. On 25 Aug, mama had headache and she told me that she woke up with a strange feeling. She said she scolded the nurse for the 'mess' they had created.
Dr P suspected that she had brain bleeding. I went to mama, pull the curtain and cried. I told her to call upon Jesus. First she said, ' for you, i'll do it" But I told her no, not for me. She agreed and said let's pray. She turned to papa and said,"I am going to become a christian." Papa said "ok, as you wish". We prayed the sinner prayer.
I asked mama if her still want to buddhist bead on her. She took it off.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
s a V e D
Last year this time was a great tribulation for me. Indeed, my Lord will not tempt me above i am abIe ...
I thank God that mama is now saved in His hand now.
I thank God that mama is now saved in His hand now.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Remission .... but...
Mama completed her 4 cycle of chemo (6 cycles is the full course but stopped due to adverse side effects) and full dose of 35 fractions of RT in April 06. She was recovering from her side effects in May and started with her shopping trip with papa.
She had some pain in her right knee and later felt very ill in early August. She was admitted to SGH on 10 August 06. Dr P**n told us that we should have brought her to the hospital earlier. This was not the only time we have delayed. Mama was always very gurung, never want to go to the hospital or call her doctor to checkup.
She had some pain in her right knee and later felt very ill in early August. She was admitted to SGH on 10 August 06. Dr P**n told us that we should have brought her to the hospital earlier. This was not the only time we have delayed. Mama was always very gurung, never want to go to the hospital or call her doctor to checkup.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Today is National Day.
On 2005 National Day, mama was admitted to SGH for spinal stenosis. I remembered I wheeled her to the patient's TV room to watch the National Day Parade telecast. I was very glad that she was alright after the operaion.
She complained about pain in her legs after she was discharged. Our 'nightmare' had started.
She nose started to bleed. It began with only some foul smell in the nose and a little blood tinted mucous and phelm in the morning. She consulted the doctors in Yishun Polyclinic. They told her that there wasn't any thing serious, it might just be an infection. She came home with some anti-biotics.
During that time papa was having some throat and acid reflux problem, so both he and mama when to consult a ENT specialist, Dr Tan at SGH. Papa for his throat problem, mama for her nose problem.
I remember calling mama to asked to ask for the doc's diagnoses on that consultation afternoon. She was still in the doc's office when I called. She said with some nervousness,'there is something wrong and the doc is checking now.' I was scared. I waited for them to return home, it was a l o o o o n g wait that evening.
She brought home 2 scope photos of the 2 growths in her nose cavity. The doc suspected that it was cancer. She told us the doc proposed an operation to remove the growths. The doc would like the children to be present at the next consultation.
the nose bleed had gotten worst when she was due for operation. Dr Tan called me at my handphone when he finished the operation. He told me that the growth indeed looked cancerous. I was deveatasted. I cried to God to save mama.
The biospy confirmed that it was cancer but it took more than a month to find out the kind of cancer. It was alveolar rhabdomyosarcomas; is a type of soft tissue sacroma that affect older children and teens. It was rare.
On 2005 National Day, mama was admitted to SGH for spinal stenosis. I remembered I wheeled her to the patient's TV room to watch the National Day Parade telecast. I was very glad that she was alright after the operaion.
She complained about pain in her legs after she was discharged. Our 'nightmare' had started.
She nose started to bleed. It began with only some foul smell in the nose and a little blood tinted mucous and phelm in the morning. She consulted the doctors in Yishun Polyclinic. They told her that there wasn't any thing serious, it might just be an infection. She came home with some anti-biotics.
During that time papa was having some throat and acid reflux problem, so both he and mama when to consult a ENT specialist, Dr Tan at SGH. Papa for his throat problem, mama for her nose problem.
I remember calling mama to asked to ask for the doc's diagnoses on that consultation afternoon. She was still in the doc's office when I called. She said with some nervousness,'there is something wrong and the doc is checking now.' I was scared. I waited for them to return home, it was a l o o o o n g wait that evening.
She brought home 2 scope photos of the 2 growths in her nose cavity. The doc suspected that it was cancer. She told us the doc proposed an operation to remove the growths. The doc would like the children to be present at the next consultation.
the nose bleed had gotten worst when she was due for operation. Dr Tan called me at my handphone when he finished the operation. He told me that the growth indeed looked cancerous. I was deveatasted. I cried to God to save mama.
The biospy confirmed that it was cancer but it took more than a month to find out the kind of cancer. It was alveolar rhabdomyosarcomas; is a type of soft tissue sacroma that affect older children and teens. It was rare.
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