Tired and Fussy

Dad treatment was halt for 2 weeks before of water retention. Resumed Glivec at reduced dose - 400 mg.

He is feeling tired and fussy for the past few days. He will sit quietly and raise his voice at me when I talk to him. I do not know how and what can make him feel good.

Please Holy Spirit, prepare his heart for salvation.

Increased Glivec Dosage

Papa is on 600mg of Gleevec now. His last PET scan in July showed that there were more hot spots appearing in the primary tumour. During our consultation with Dr. O, he drew 4 options to combat the progression.
 1. Increase Gleevec to 600mg
2. Change to Sutent
3. Surgery
3. Maintain 400 mg and radiation therapy.  Dr O recommended to try RT after weighing the pros and cons.

 When we were back home, papa wanted to try the increased dose. So we started on 600 mg. He has been on it for 2 weeks. No bad rash but occasionally nausea / vomit and 1 episode of diarrhea. The nausea and diarrhea were taken care by Zofran and Imodium.

 Papa's complaint about some sensation in the pelvic region is worrying.

What had happened.

More than half a year has passed and it did not pass with ease.

There was once, Dr suspected that he might have contacted lung fungi infection or interstitial lung disease due to Gleevec . Thank God, it was not. And his cough recovered.

Papa was admitted to the hospital 2 times for high fever, diarrhea and also vomitting for the last time.

Dr increased the Gleevec back to 400 mg because the PET scan taken in Feb 13 showed dieases progression. There were 3 hot spots shown on the primary tumor, lymph node and saliva gland.

Thereafter, another PET scan was taken in April 13. Dr said his condition was stable.

Lately, he is feeling very tired with body and back ache, nausea and having water retention.

Tonight, he asked, "Why am I sick?" He said that he is not afraid of dying but is afraid of discomfort anf pain.

Dear Lord, please send the Holy Spirit to convict Papa of his sin. Please give me good opportunity to tell him about the gift of salvation.  Papa is still very stubborn. He is not looking at the Almighty God for help. Please Lord, I beg you, please do not let him die without Jesus as his personal saviour.

If you are reading my blog and believe in Jesus Christ, I covet your prayer for my papa. Thank you.

The day will come when I blog on how God has saved my papa!

Infection Again

Dad got better when he visited Dr O on 5 Oct 12. The result showed negative test for TB. Doc concluded that it was lung infection that took a longer time to recover. The antibiotic Doxycycline gave him much problem, ie. diarrhea, total loss of appetite, worst of all is depression.

 But last week his stuffy nose and cough got worst again. At 7pm he is running a fever of 38.3 celcius. Please not another round of antibiotic. 

Lord, what should I do?

Suspected TB

PET scan showed that the primary tumor has shrunk and FDG takeup reduced. But scan showed that he has lung infection. That explained papa's cough started in mid August.  Dr O prescribed antibiotics (Augmentin). He said 2% of Glivec patients develops cough.

At yesterday's consultation, Dr. O suspected that dad contacted TB. He was worried that adminstrating TB medication and Glivec will damage his liver. I told him that papa had somewhat got better after the round of antibiotic. He decided to give him another round of antibiotics (Doxycycline) and ordered a blood test for TB in 10 days time.

Dad just complained that he felt very weak. He said he feared he can't live long.

Lord, I pray that papa will seek for the truth.

Dad resumed on a reduced dose of Glivec - 300mg after 2 weeks interruption. He is scheduled to do a PET scan on 27 August and review with Dr. O on 31 August.
Lately, Dad complains about backache. The same kind of pain he had before the Gilvec treatement. He is also very gloomy and is not eating well. I could tell that he is feeling fustrated because he is picking on the smallest issues, like, the volume of the TV programme.
My dad have been very stubborn and haughty. I am praying that God to work in his heart. And that he will eventually want to know about God, eternity, sin. I am praying and waiting for him to ask me to tell him about God. I am asking God not to take his life before he accepts Christ as his personal saviour. Please pray with me. Thank you very much.

Glivec Interrupted

At 11th week, dad had to stop Glivec because of skin reaction - blistering rash. Doc ordered to stop medication for 2 weeks. Not sure what is the next treatment plan. Dad is experiencing constipation after 5 days without Glivec.

Lest I forget

I need to blog this to remember God's precision and provision.

17 April 12 was Papa 1st consultation with Dr O at NCC. I was quite certain that this would be a wasted trip as biopsy result done in RCC was not out yet.  While Papa and I were waiting outside Dr. O office, my hp rang. It was Dr P. He said, "I am Dr. P. The biopsy result is out. Good news. It is GIST as expected." Dr P told us that he would emailed the result to Dr O immediately. Our trip was not wasted. The Dr O was able to administer the treatement after some basic blood test.

I am amazed with God's timing and provision. Words just fall short of the how grateful I am that my faithful Lord has brought wonderful people to help us during this difficult time.

First Month Treatment

On 20 April 12, Papa started on Glivec at 400 mg daily. Dr warned us of the adversed side effects - edema (water retention) because of his weak kidneys and heart problem and perforation of the GI which can be fatal. Papa complained about a nagging pain under his left armpit ribs. Dr suspected bone pain - from the met tumors. Seen on the PET scan report, he had several mets - on the spine, liver and left arm and left perotid node. It is scary.
3 weeks later, he was well enough to meet his friends for coffee. He had sight edema, feeling fatique and cold (flu) symptoms - stuffy nose, watering eyes, cough and bodyache. I am not sure if they were side effects or the cancer symptoms.

This week's Physical Condition
I am paranoid of every little complain and condition he has. He has night cough and had just passed a remark about a irritating throat. I also noticed ( i think) a little node on the left side of his jaw. I am afraid the the cancer has spread to the lung and esophagus.

I googled alot these days to get information. But the more informed I get, the more worry I am. Ecclesiastes 12:12 "... much study is a weariness of the flesh."

Papa is Weaker

The PET Scan confirmed cancer had spread.

Papa is getting weaker and increasing pain by the day. Papa had great pain yesterday morning, I held his hand and prayed aloud.

He needs a biopsy before any treatment but cant do it immediately because he is on blood thinning medication. So he needs to wait for at least another week for treatment.

Lord, please hear your servant cry. Be gracious and gentle with papa. Stop the pain. Let the Holy Spirit speaks to him. Convict his heart and make him understand the gift of salvation. Please do not let him die without Christ. In the Lord's Jesus name I pray.

Not Again!

CT scan showed a large tumor size of 15 cm in Papa's pelvis space. Dr. S at KTP Hospital said that it is cancer.

Visited Dr. P on 31 March 12 at his clinic. He told us that it could be a GIST - Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor (? Maligant or Benign). Dr. P was able to bring it to us in a very calm way. After viewing the CT scan, he did not find any other abnormal growths in the liver and spine which contradicted KTP Hospital's report.

Dr. P told us not to be too worried at this point of time as more tests are needed to confirm the nature of the tumor. He ordered a PET Scan for Papa and schedule an appointment with him at Tuesday - 3 April 12.

How I wished that this is just an April Fool's joke.

I have asked God many times not send cancer to my family again but it is still His call to give us what is good.

If your are a born again christian and believe that our God is a Almight God, I ask for your favor to pray for my papa's salvation. Pray that this espisode will bring him to the saving grace of Christ.

Thank you

Embarking onto DECE-L

Started DECE L. Still trying to find friends. Pray for a few good friends to accompany me thru the next 2 years.

Wedding

Today is bro's wedding day. He has moved to his new nest and such, I'll miss the evening talks with him.
Wishing him and his wife happiness!

Tell Papa

Mama,
I saw Papa mesmersing your old photographs and talking to himself. I am heartbroken. I want Papa to know that if he ask God for forgiveness of his sins, he can one day meet you in heaven.

Mama help me to have the courage to tell papa of the gift of salvation.

4th Anniversary

It has been 4 years.

Brought Mama 2 bunches of pink carnations. She loves caranations. She loves the flower for its beauty and the hardiness.

Cried again at her grave beacuse I miss her so much.

Broken Hearted

My heart is aching tonight. The 2 persons I love is acting strangely on me. Is it that I have hurt them?

Lord, pls can you mend broken hearts.

Letter to Mama

Dear Mama,

I miss you very much. Just like when I was little, I always look forward for your coming to pick me up from grands' place. Sometime this feeling is so overwhelming that I began to cry. Mama, I still don not understand why did God wants to bring you Home so soon.

I am already half way thru' my dip in ECE. I know you will agree that I change line. You are always so supportive in whatever I do. Thank you for trusting in me.

The CNY holidays had just ended. Though I tried to replicate the things you do, my efforts are in vain. The festive mood has since left with you. Mama, don't worry, Iwill do my best as promised.

your darling girl

3rd Anniversary

Today is the 3rd Anniversary of Mama being called Home.

Life at home is getting in place but it will never be the same again. There will be always this empty slot just like a jigsaw with a puzzle piece missing. No longer a completed picture.

I hate it!

I am feeling real lousy today.

I had a quarrel with Papa on some very trival matter.

But what I am angry was he said mama was right that he will be lost with no help if she die. I think what mama was trying to say is, he was too dependent of her and NOT that we (the children) will not take care of him when she is no longer around.

Papa is also in self-pity state. And I hate that!

1st Day of School

Today is my 1st day of school after 9 years.

Sometimes I feel stupid for giving up what i have to start from zero again. I feel pressurised to do well in ECE.