Mama's Wedding Ring

I am so happy, I found mama's wedding ring in the side cupboard beside papa's bed. I have been looking high and low for it for a few months now. I combed throught the places mama keeps ( it is difficult to use past tense on mama) her things. I practically left no stone unturned.

Mama took off the ring when she was going through radiotherapy. She must have wanted to keep it in a safe place. So safe that it took me a while to find it.

This ring was on mama's finger as long as I can remember. I remembered feeling it when holding mama's hand when I was little and also asking her what does the engraved initiate "L.Y.S." on the inside of the ring means.

If only my finger fit the ring, I would have it on as long as I can, just like mama.

The Journey

Looking back, the journey we've gone through with mama during her illness was a bitter-sweet experience. I treasure every little memory I have, not wanting to loose any. That is one of the reasons why I started this blog.

The 18months battle that we fought together was so packed with emotions. Fear, anger, joy, peace, anxiety, heartache, thankfulness sometimes all rolled in one single day.

I found this site call CancerLynx and there was a particular article by Law Lee, he speaks about the needs of the cancer patients and their caregiver at different stage of the illness. I find his account very close to that which I have gone through with mama.

Filling Up the Spaces

First, let me wish you a blessed 2008 ahead!

My brother and I embarked to give the house a fresh coat of paint. We realised that the finishings in the house are getting old, dirty and worn out. Mind you, we are staying in a relatively new flat, not more than 8 years. But it has deteriorated since mama was ill. I had posted before that the HOUSEkeeping at times seems so overwhelming. Thank God that brother sugguested, "Let's paint the house." As ever, I asked the same question, "Sure or not?"

I choose the colours and he brought the paint. I am a not a risk taker, so the colour are safe colours, off-white and lime green. Brother did most of the painting work. Me? I did the touching up and supervising. Oh no no, don't you despise my effort ;o)

When I was painting (or supervising) this thought came to me. Will we take up this responsibility if mama is still around? It was mama's "job", of course, not that we will leave all the works to mama but she will be the initiator, co-ordinator, supervisor and worker too.

Little by little, we are filling up the empty spaces left behind.