Give me blodness, please

Whenever something good happened like a good dinner out, my brothers or I got a pay raise or promotion, a nice holiday, Papa will say,"Sayang (meaning it such a regret), your mama is not around."

I will pretent that I did not hear it.

I wish I can just pluck up my courage and say,"Papa, I too wish mama is here with us but it is not such a regret because it is God's will for her to go Heaven before us. If you come to Jesus for forgiveness, let Him be your God and personal Saviour, one day you will be reunited with mama."

Dear God, please give me boldness and tact to tell my papa about Jesus.

The Will to Live

Mama is also one lady who never say die.
When I knew that mama's prognosis was poor, it was just a matter of weeks, 7 weeks was what the doctor predicted. I was heart broken. On one hand I wanted to tell her the straight truth, on the other, I just could not get myself break the cruel news. I could only hint.
One day, I asked Mama, "Ma, do you think that you will get well ?"
Mama replied, "yes, but it will take time."
I said, "Ma, it is ok whether or not you will be cured. We will be very gald if you are cured, but if not, there is nothing to loose because you will be in Heaven."
Mama nodded.
I came across some very encouraging cancer survivors blog snowcloud.moblog.com.sg and wearewonderwomen.com. These ladies are full of life despite of their cancer. I salute them!

Who should I follow?

Yesterday Kit, my 7 year old niece asked me, "Ku Jie (Aunty in Cantonese), who should I follow, Mummy or you?"

After a pause, she continued, "I think I will follow you."

I knew she meant to follow whose "religion" or believe.

I told her,"You should follow the God who make the trees, the birds, the mountains and the seas. The God who died on the cross for your sin. Only Jesus died for our sin. So you should follow Jesus."

I pray that following Christ is set in this little heart.

Moving on ....

My office is moving from Novena to Bendemeer over this week end. We finished packing everything yesterday. The move commenced this afternoon and by tomorrow evening everything should be moved to the new premises.

As usual some like the new location and some do not. Me? Umm... ... now adays I have became somewhat indifference to 'where am I?', 'who am I?' and 'How am I?'

After 6 years in this field, I feel that this job is not for me. I have been praying that God will lead me to where I should belong. Some place that I am able to do my best and work to my potential. I know God has a greater plan for me. May His still small voice be loud and clear to me.

Best Decision

I am very sure now that mom is saved and is enjoying the presence of the Lord. How wonderful is to think of this truth. My GOD is GREAT. amen!

Faith Bible Institute course has helped me to build my faith. It has reminded me of the simplest but the most basic truth.

Matthew 10:32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.

Mom made known her desire to come to the Lord Jesus to Papa. She told her children and siblings about her conversion. Being a 'filial' daughter and a big sister, making this decision was not an easy task. Putting the family first and considering others were always mom's priority. Accepting Christ as her personal saviour was the last but best decision she made. She spends eternity with no regerts.

Papa's resentment

Papa is very resentful.

It is about his childhood. He came from Singapore when he was 6 - 7 years old. That's about Kit Yee's age now. She is still drinking from her bottle when she has the crave. His mommy was left behind in China. His papa, my grandfather was from a quite well-to-do family. The family owned a coffee shop. But his papa did not fend for him. Papa did not go to school and have to work from day to night for his meals. He was bullied. He resented his papa and the family. This has made him very cynical and critical about life. Until he met mama. Life got better ...

I pray that the Lord of all power will change papa's heart. He needs God. He needs to know that Jesus has died for him.

The Lord to come before ...

I visited mama's grave this evening after meeting at SAS. Bought her a little windmill from the florist hawker outside the cemetry.

As a walk up the hill, I always could not help but to ask my dear Heavenly Father,"Is this the best time to take mama home?" , "Why can't mama have more time here?". I guess I will not have the answer until the day I see God face to face. But by then, nothing matters anymore because I am united with mama.

As there is only limited land in Singapore, the grave plot is not 'freehold'. If I am not wrong, the plot is on tenure of 15 years, afterwhich the grave will be exhume. I think the plot will than make available for someone else.

I hope that the Lord comes before the tenure is up.

Matthew 27:52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,